Gardening mistakes I have made, and what I’ve learned from them.

Posted on June 9, 2024 by John Kevin Hickey

Gardening is learning, learning, learning. That’s the fun of them. You’re always learning.

Helen Mirren

Gardening is like any skill; it takes practice, patience and education to be any good at it. And while you can certainly learn a great deal about gardening from a book or in a classroom environment, the best teacher is learning from one’s own mistakes.

I have been gardening for almost 30 years now, and I have made a lot of mistakes in that time. Enough to make me a fairly well-rounded gardener. While some of my mistakes have been a little costly moneywise, I have no regrets in making any of them. What is important is that I learn something from my errors.

Today I thought I would share some of my more egregious mistakes, and the lessons I’ve learned from them, in the hopes that others will avoid making similar blunders.

Gardening for the wrong region

Blue penstemons, blue iris, and in the background, a serviceberry, are all plants suitable for the region I garden in.

My first, and probably biggest mistake, was not gardening for the region I live in. This error set me back in both time and money. There is a saying: “right plant for the right place”. This saying has many meanings. But for me, the biggest takeaway from this saying is making sure to plant plants that will actually thrive in the conditions here in my Colorado homestead.

Now, in my defense, there wasn’t a lot of literature or information regarding Western gardening when I got started. Most gardening lore is based on the conditions in the Northeast or Middle-Atlantic states. Magazines, such as Fine Gardening or Horticulture, are almost all based in New England. Even my favorite gardening writers, Allen Lacy and Henry Mitchell, gardened in the East.

And the foundation of American gardening comes from that island of gardeners, Great Britain. Let me tell you, about the only region that is more removed from where I garden than the British Isles would be the tropics.

OK, sure, there was Sunset’s “Western Garden” book, which was recommended to me by a couple who had been gardening in Colorado for decades. While I have found this book very helpful, it is very California-centric.

“Plant Select” (Plant Select – Smart plants inspired by the Rocky Mountain region), a collaboration between Denver Water and Colorado State University, had only been in operation for a couple of years when I started my gardening adventure.

Unfortunately, the internet wouldn’t become useful for gardeners several years yet.

So, this really wasn’t a mistake, so much as just ignorance on my part.

With all this being said, what does this all mean? Well, it means I followed the advice that I had available and tried to grow plants that are not adapted to my region. I have dry, clayey and alkaline soil, and most of the plants that were recommended thrive dirt that is moist, acidic and loamy.

Needless to say, I watched a lot of my hard-earned cash wither away and die in those first couple of years. I would love to show you some photos of the plants that I put in the wrong conditions, but I can’t. Because they’re dead.

Lesson learned: always, ALWAYS, try to garden for the conditions you have. Nowadays, with a profusion of available resources available to the Western gardener (see here for my review of Xeriscape books: The best Xeriscape books for Western gardeners (mrvintageman.com), I make sure to do my homework well before I ever put a plant into the ground.

Does this mean I never plant more “traditional” plants in my garden? Of course not. I do, in fact, grow hostas, peonies, clematis and spiraeas. But now I try to make their homes more hospitable for them. This means putting in lots of organic matter before planting, and making sure that they are given the moisture they need. I put them where the sprinkler system will hit them, or near to a water spigot for easy watering.

Planting in the wrong place

Again, this goes back to the saying “right plant, right place”. Growing native plants has been a big trend over the past couple of decades. In fact, some native plant enthusiasts are downright fascist about the whole thing.

One of the biggest selling points for native plants is that they are lower maintenance than foreign species. Is this true? Well, yes and no.

If you give them the conditions that they grow in the wild, then yes. If you take a sun-loving native plant, such as a yucca, and put it in a spot where it will get sunbaked for 8 hours a day, with little to no moisture, then it will indeed be lower maintenance. However! Should you plant it in the shade of an ash tree, where it gets hit by the sprinkler system on a regular basis, then no, it is in fact not going to thrive.

Right plant, right place.

Also, the wrong spot can mean that the plant sticks out like a sore thumb. Meaning it is not aesthetically pleasing. And do I have a few of those.

I apparently subconsciously avoid taking pictures with this dwarf Alberta spruce in them. I had to go back several years in my media library to find a picture of it.

See that conifer in the upper right part of the picture? That’s a dwarf Alberta spruce. And it is definitely in the wrong spot, aesthetically wise. It’s too big for the border, so it throws the feng shui off. I planted it too close to the fence, and as it grows it will eventually start pushing against the fence. Not healthy for the plant, or the fence. It just looks uncomfortable and out of place. But I am loathe to cut it down. Guess I will just have to live with it, or hope it gets a disease of some sort.

Again: right plant, right place.

Lesson learned: always take into account how large a plant is going to get. What is a cute little shrub today, can quickly grow into a monster in a surprisingly short time. Also, pay close attention to the conditions the plant requires. The tags on most plants will say how much sun and moisture the plant requires. If the tag says the plant requires full sun, that usually means at least six hours of direct sunlight. “Medium moisture”, depending on where you live, could mean watering weekly. So, don’t put a shade loving Hosta in a sunbaked hell-strip, unless you are into torturing plants.

Plants I wish I’d never planted

As you can see, the lambs ears (the fuzzy gray foliage) have surrounded the besieged crocuses. Left to its own devices, this plant will quickly dominate this whole section of the border.

There are descriptors for plants that have their eye on world domination. Terms such as “Aggressive”, “self-seeds readily”, or my favorite, “a thug”. What all these terms mean is that if you let this plant into your garden, they can quickly swamp and choke out the other plants. What’s worse, is that once these pants have gotten a foothold, it is damn near impossible to ever get rid of them. And a plant that grows where it isn’t wanted is called a weed.

Most of these plants tend to come from other regions of the world, thus have no natural predators. Plants such as bindweed, puncture vine, and even the beautiful purple loosestrife, are now classified as invasive species.

But oftentimes, we deliberately plant plants that can get out of hand, even if they are not considered invasive. Gardening catalogs can be pretty vague sometimes when it comes to describing a plant’s attributes. They often oversell the positives and become uncomfortably evasive when it comes to negatives. Even magazine articles can gloss over certain flaws.

For instance: I once read that lambs ears (Stachys byzantina) is a drought tolerant plant that is not a thug. Note that “not a thug” part. While it may not be bent on taking over the garden, it is an aggressive self-sower that finds its way into many nooks and crannies in the Vintage Garden. Years ago, based on that magazine’s recommendation, I planted me some lamb’s ears. I like this plant in small doses (MrsVintage despises it), but if I am not careful, it can quickly get out of control.

Here, a lamb’s ear is that I have constrained. It adds a nice contrast to all the green foliage around it. (You can see its gray and purple flower stalk in front of the blue daisy-like flowers of the fleabane (Erigeron).

Another magazine article convinced me to plant a morning glory vine. This vine is actually an annual, so it dies back completely in the winter. The article stated that the flowers of morning glory vines are great for attracting pollinating insects, perfect for the veggie garden. A photo attached to the story showed the vine growing on a bamboo teepee.

Thus inspired, I went out and bought a collapsible bamboo teepee and some morning glory seeds. And I must say, the vine worked as advertised. We had a bumper crop of pumpkins that year.

Morning glory vine growing up a bamboo teepee. A beautiful pain in the ass.

What the article didn’t mention, and I didn’t find out until later, is that the morning glory vine is a relative of the hated bindweed. While morning glory vine is not as aggressive as its bindweed cousin, it self-sows prodigiously. The following year the veggie garden was awash with morning glory seedlings. It took me years of conscientious weeding to eliminate it from that border. And even today, a lone survivor will occasionally make its presence known.

Lesson learned: don’t be suckered by a pretty picture or rosy description. Do your research. Make sure that the plant you are going to plant isn’t going to over your garden on its way to world domination. If a plant is known for self-sowing readily, be prepared to weed its offspring out in the coming years.

Not planting correctly

Oftentimes, when you pick up a plant at a nursery, or big-box hardware store, the plants you are buying have been in their pots for far longer than is healthy. A plant that has been stuck in a pot can become “pot-bound” or “root-bound”. The plant has used up all the nutrients in the pot, and desperately sends out roots in a vain attempt to find more. Eventually, the roots just circle round and round the pot, forming a circular mass.

So, what does this mean for the gardener? If the plant goes in the ground without having the roots scored or “teased”, the roots will continue to grow in a circular motion, never striking out into the surrounding soil. Eventually, the roots will girdle the base of the plant and the plant will literally strangle itself to death.

I’m usually pretty good at scoring the roots of plants should they be pot bound before I put them in the ground. But I have lost more than one plant because I wasn’t as diligent as I should have been. When the plant is a perennial, it sucks, but it’s not a huge waste of time or money.

When this problem occurs with a tree, however, that is a huge loss of time and money. What’s worse, on such a large plant, the symptoms of root girdling usually don’t appear until many years after the tree was planted. If not properly planted, the tree is doomed the moment it goes into the ground.

This situation has occurred twice on trees I’ve planted. I have lost a thornless Russian hawthorn (oxymoron, I know), and a serviceberry. As you can see in the picture below, the roots of this serviceberry continued growing around the base of the tree. And in one case, a large root literally wrapped itself around another large root, strangling it, leading to the death of the tree.

Tree loss due to strangulation

Lesson learned: Before planting any plant, carefully inspect the roots. Make sure that the roots of plants will be able to grow into the surrounding soil. If the plant is NOT root bound, it should be safe to just plop it in the ground. But if there is even a hint of being root bound, make sure to tease the roots so they will expand out properly. See here for an explanation: Teasing the Rootball of Plants: Why and How to Do It (thespruce.com)

In conclusion

These are just a few of the many mistakes I have made in the Vintage Garden over the years. There are plenty more I will share with you in the future, but I think this is enough humiliation for one day.

I must say, however, that every single one of these errors have taught me something. I am a far better gardener now that I was even just a few years ago.

What horrors have you unleashed in your garden?

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Call me Clyde: how a big man adapts to riding a bicycle.

Posted on May 12, 2024 by John Kevin Hickey

The bicycling world, like almost all human endeavors, is rife with its own slang and jargon that can sound like a foreign language to outsiders. For example, to “bonk” is to run out of energy on a bike ride. “Chainring tattoo” is an oily mark left on the bicyclist, usually the calf, when skin accidentally touches the chainring and chain. A “Fred” is a bicycling newbie.

I’m not a racer, so I rarely partake in speaking bicyclingese. However, there is one term that I do feel applies to me: Clydesdale. A “Clydesdale” is a large person, usually a man, who bicycles. Unofficially, a Clydesdale is a rider who weighs 200 pounds or more.

A dedicated bicyclist is usually built, like most endurance athletes, very skinny with little muscle mass or body fat. Sometimes described as “wiry”. Basically, a typical ectomorph body type.

A Clydesdale is usually an endomorphic body type and is thus leans toward to muscle and fat. Even if I were near my goal weight, which I’m not, I would never be mistaken for a typical bicyclist. I have a large frame, and under all that blubber, a lot of muscle and thick bones. (I’m just big boned!).

Bicycling is best for me

Even though I am classified as a Clydesdale, I have found bicycling is the best for me. Always has been. As a kid, I practically lived on my bike. With a bicycle, a young boy can go as far as his short little legs will let him.

Truthfully, I am not a big fan of other forms of cardio exercise. Walking is alright. Hiking can be fun, right until the sweat starts streaming off my forehead like the Upper Yellowstone falls. Running sucks, and I hate it! Not dislike it; I despise it. You try running with a 30″ inseam. You don’t go very fast.

Bicycling is easier on my joints and ligaments, especially my arthritic knee. I don’t suffer as much from the heat as I do from other forms of exercise. I’m able to recover faster from a bicycle ride than I am from more weight bearing exercises.

As an added bonus, when I am riding, I am outside soaking up sun and nature. A real win-win for me!

Tips on how to make riding more comfortable for fellow Clydesdales.

All that being said, there are downsides to being a Clydesdale. Heavier riders tend to be hard on bikes (confession: I once broke a couple of spokes on a wheel after hitting a tiny pothole). Bicycle saddles can make your “sit-bones” hurt. Ischial tuberosities, commonly called sit bones, are the two little loops that protrude from the bottom of your pelvis. When bicycling, a great deal of your weight rests on these two bones. The more weight you carry, the more pressure on the sit bones. A cushier saddle is not always the right solution to the problem. Imagine you’re sitting on the corner of a coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, so you wedge a pillow under your crotch to make it softer. What happens to all that padding? That’s right, it pushes up even more into your tenders.

Fat is an insulator, as any polar bear will tell you. Heavier, or fatter, riders will be prone to overheating. Plus, lugging around more weight on a bike results in more exertion, which can also lead to overheating. Care must be taken to properly hydrate before and during a ride, and be cognizant of the signs of heat stress.

So, I have made several modification to my bicycle to make riding easier as a big man.

I upgraded my wheels from 32 spokes to 36 spokes.

My steed. I’ve upgraded my wheels from 32 spokes to 36 spokes. Note that I have two water bottle holders and a bike bag. I’ll discuss those shortly.

After the broken spoke incident, I immediately replaced my stock 32 spoke wheels with upgraded (read: sturdier) 36 spoke wheels. More spokes mean more structural support for the wheel rim. More support means less chance for broken spokes and deformed wheels. I have not suffered a broken spoke since I swapped the wheels out.

I installed a wider and flatter saddle.

The old, stock saddle on my hybrid bicycle used to be narrower and had more of a curve on the rear. I replaced it with a saddle that is flatter and wider to take pressure off my sit bones.

A saddle that is properly fitted to one’s anatomy makes riding so much more comfortable. Because I have wide site bones, I have installed a wider and flatter saddle. This saddle spreads the weight out and takes pressure off my sit bones and ass better than the saddle that was installed on the bike when I purchased it. Some of the nicer bicycle stores actually have a device that can measure the width of your sit bones. It is worth the effort to find such a store.

Avoiding overheating and profuse sweating.

Image by Heavenonearth from Pixabay

I avoid using super tight bicycling jerseys, choosing instead to wear loose fitting dri-wick shirts. Tight shirts cause the shirt fabric to lay right next to the skin. When the sun beats down on the shirt, the heat is immediately transferred to the skin. Presto, the dermis gets hot and tries to cool off by sweating. Professional racers wear tight jerseys for their aerodynamics qualities. I am not a racer, thus not worried about my wind resistance. Loose fitting clothes allow air to circulate, allowing heat to bleed off. There’s a reason people who live in hot climates wear baggy clothes.

I have installed a second water bottle holder on my primary bike, so as I can carry more water. If I go on a ride for more than an hour, I attach my bike bag and throw in a 3rd water bottle, and maybe a sports drink and a snack. I also leave an insulated lunch bag in the truck for when the ride is over. I keep more waters and sports drinks in there, along with some cooling towels. Having A/C in the truck is a true Godsend.

I wear bicycling shorts that are designed specifically for big guys like me.

Unfortunately, most bicycle clothing manufacturers don’t take into account large riders. An XXL bicycling jersey is like a medium in regular clothes. After all, the hard-core bicyclist is likely to be built like a bean pole. Clothing manufacturers are obviously going to make clothes that will sell to the most people possible. Bike store owners are going to stock clothes that are more likely to sell. Them’s the facts of life for us Clydesdales.

Fortunately, I found an online retailer that specializes in bicycle clothes for big and tall men and plus-size women: Cycling Apparel, Bike Shorts, Bike Jerseys by Aero Tech Designs. The shorts I purchased from them has a gel insert that is wider and thicker than an insert normally used in bike shorts. Thicker insert means more padding for the sit bones. Clydesdale riding shorts also usually come with bigger leg holes to accommodate bigger legs.

Inflate them tires!

Image by Daniel Kirsch from Pixabay

I inflate my tires right up to the highest psi suggested on the tire. All tires come with a range of recommended tire pressure. Usually, the larger the tire the lower recommended PSI range. One of my bikes have tires with a range of 50-65 psi, the other has a range from 85 to 110 psi.

The reason I put so much air into the tires is that softer tires compress more when the rider is on the bike. More compression means more surface area of the tire touches the ground. The more surface area that touches means more resistance when in motion. I’m already carrying enough weight around to get a good workout on any ride as it is. I don’t need to add more resistance to make it any harder than necessary.

Plus, less resistance means I can go a little faster!

Of course, as in all things in life, there is a tradeoff from having harder tires. The tire is what provides cushioning from all the bumps and cracks in the path. Softer tires compress more, which means more cushioning. Riding on fully inflated (harder) tires means that I feel more of the jolts and vibrations as I ride.

Enjoying “exercise”

As I said earlier, I thought for the longest time that I hated cardio exercise. Turns out I just hated running. I have short and thick legs, which made jogging an absolute chore. I used to hear all the time about how some runners got a “runners high”. Not me. Running was a sweaty, painful misery. As far as I was concerned, the only enjoyable part of running is when it came to an end. But running was supposed to be the most effective exercise to achieve one’s fitness goals. Or so I believed.

Them about ten years ago, I decided to dig my old bicycle out and go for a ride. I was immediately transported back to my childhood, when I would gleefully spend hours on my bicycle. What blissfulness! What joy! Instead of looking forward to my exercise coming to an end, I found I could ride for as long as I wanted. The only thing that slowed me down was when my ass would get sore from sitting on the saddle. That I didn’t remember from my youthful days!

Now that I have adapted my riding to my age and size, I finally understand what a “runners high” feels like. Riding helps ease my anxiety and reduces stress. I actually look forward to riding my bike. To me it’s not exercise, it’s enjoying the sensation of flying. And that has made all the difference.

If you are a Clydesdale like me, I hope these suggestions help.

Happy trails y’all!

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Two (!) book reviews: The Olympian Affair & Dragon Hunter: Roy Chapman Andrews

Posted on April 21, 2024 by John Kevin Hickey

On New Years Day, I set myself a modest goal of reading 24 books in the upcoming year. Man, I have been on a tear lately. I have already finished 17 books this winter. I can usually read much faster than that, but I have given myself a reading challenge.

Years ago, decades actually, I was gifted an entire set of the Harvard Classics Five-Foot-Shelf-of-Books. Basically, a 50 volume Western Civ course for the home library. My edition was copyrighted in 1959. And on my shelves they have accumulated dust.

This year I decided it was time to delve into these tomes. After all, I am getting long of tooth and grey of beard. If not now, when? And let me tell you, these books run the gamut: biographies, Greek philosophy, English plays, Continental essays, natural history, politics, poetry, etc., etc. I set a target to read 10 pages a day. I didn’t want to rush through them just to say I had completed the set. I wanted to learn from them.

And I must say, I am glad I limited my reading to 10 pages a day. This reading is hard! I consider myself a relatively smart guy, but there are times I have to go back over sections because I failed to comprehend what the author was saying. Part of my struggle is that back in ye olden times, authors apparently believed that you should never say in a sentence what you can stretch out into a whole paragraph. Other times they flat out contradict themselves.

But it has been illuminating so far. My two favorite passages up to this point are by Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Browne. Franklin early on in life took up vegetarianism, but on a sea voyage from Philidelphia to Boston, he became rather hungry. The crew of his vessel landed some fish, and Franklin found a way to rationalize eating said fish: “So convenient a thing to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for every thing one has a mind to do.”

Thomas Browne’s quote is a good deal more heartfelt: “Lord, save me from myself”.

First review: The Olympian Affair

Book 1 of Jim Butcher’s Cinder Spires saga, The Aeronauts Windlass, was released way back in 2016. I found it to be an entertaining steampunk novel, written in a darker tone than most of Mr. Butcher’s other writings. I eagerly awaited a sequel. Sadly, however, it appears that Windlass was the last novel published before Mr. Butcher’s life got upended. Almost all of his writing, with the exception of a few short stories released here and there, got put on hold while he righted his ship.

I am happy to report that book 2 of the Cinder Spires series is a success. Colorful characters, an actual plot (sadly missing in a lot of modern TV shows and movies), and a well-crafted fantasy world.

The book continues with the adventures of one Captain Grimm, a disgraced former naval (aero?) officer of Albion spire who commands the ship and crew of the aeroship Predator. “Spires” are man-made structures, that reach heights of two miles or more above a hostile planet surface. Humans huddle in these spires, using chemical vats to produce their food and clothing. Airships are made from strange “trees” harvested on the deadly surface below. And war is brewing between spire Albion and spire Aurora, and other spires are being forced to choose sides.

Like I said, the world building is pretty amazing. And I must admit, the explanation on how humans ended up living in man-made spires on this weird world was a quite a surprise. Very clever, but no spoilers!

Interestingly, in the afterword, Mr. Butcher admits that once he finally got his life back on track, he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue to write this series. His fans implored him to continue, and I for one am glad he persevered.

The Olympian Affair a book by Jim Butcher (bookshop.org)

Intermission

Second review: Dragon Hunter – Roy Chapman Andrews and the Central Asiatic Expeditions

Roy Chapman Andrews is the kind of guy I wanted to be when I was a young man. A renowned explorer and renaissance man: he was a scientist, athlete, spy, author, professor and noted public speaker. He was also confident, self-assured, bold, adventurous and a natural leader. Basically, everything I am not.

According to Mr. Gallenkamp’s biography, Roy Chapman had an unremarkable childhood while growing up in Wisconsin. At an early age, he developed a keen interest in natural history. After college, he managed to find employment with the American Museum in New York, even though they weren’t hiring. He told the Director of the museum that he was willing to work as a janitor if that’s what it took. The Director took him up on that, and after working in the taxidermy lab during the day, Andrews mopped the floors in the evenings.

Earning his doctorate while working at the museum, Andrews gradually made his way up the ladder. Eventually he developed the pull to put propose expeditions overseas in the pursuit of scientific discovery. His need to expand his horizons eventually led him to the Far East, a region he immediately fell in love with, and where he would spend half his adult life.

He spearheaded several expedtions into the Gobi desert during the 1920s. His original purpose was to prove that Asia, and not Africa, was the birthplace of hominid species, including homo sapiens. In that regard, his expeditions failed. But by pure chance, his team uncovered in the harsh Gobi soil dinosaur fossils that would change the course of paleontology forever.

Roy Chapman Andrews and the Central Asiatic Expeditions is a breezy read. The first third is a little boring, but once we arrive in the Far East things really begin to pick up. There are rumors that Roy Chapman was the inspiration for Indiana Jones, but both Lucas and Spielberg have denied this. However, those old movie serials from the 30s and early 40s that those men loved so much as kids were inspired by noted explorers like Andrews, Lindbergh, Perry, Earhart and others. So, indirectly, Indiana Jones owes his birth to Roy Chapman Andrews.

Dragon Hunter: Roy Chapman Andrews and the Central Asiatic Expeditions: Gallenkamp

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